Killing Me Softly
by CenaAmbroseGirl92
Summary: Elliot said that you were his sanctuary, that you kept him sane, but due to his impulsive nature and his condition you wonder if this is just a one-sided relationship. Warning for language, rape, violence, smut, and SPOILERS!
1. Chapter 1

1/22/20

I knew there would be challenges when I started dating Elliot Alderson. I had been his therapist for six months having no idea what exactly I was getting in to. It was never my intention for the patient-therapist relationship line to be crossed, but I wanted to help him and be there for him as more than just a doctor. I connected with him beyond that point and so did he. At least I thought he did.

It was through tragic circumstances that our relationship started. When Elliot's girlfriend Shayla was murdered by her ex-boyfriend Vera Elliot called me sobbing and saying that he needed me right then before he did something he'd regret. I could hear in his voice that he was high again, even though he had been doing pretty well after the last withdrawal.

I gave all my patients my cell phone number in case they needed to reschedule appointments or they needed someone to talk to off the record. Elliot had called me before when he was going through Morphine withdrawals, but I'd never heard him as desperate as he did in that plea for me to come over that night.

I was walking with my cousin, Jillian doing some last minute shopping for Christmas dinner when I saw a hooded figure quickly walking towards me. I stopped dead in my tracks as did Jillian. "Delilah."

I knew by the voice that it was my Elliot, but I also knew that Mr. Robot was with him, he always was. He tried to come closer, but Jill stepped up and blocked his path. She looked him up and down and said with venom in her voice, "You must be Elliot. You have some nerve trying to talk to my cousin after what you did. How many other chicks did you fuck behind her back, huh?"

"Jesus Christ, Jillian we're in public! Elliot like I told Mr. Robot I'm done with you until you get your head on straight. I can't trust you anymore. You're too impulsive and you've already given in twice. The first one I let slide 'cause you'd known her your whole life and it was just a kiss, but this one is inexcusable. I love you, but that's clearly not enough for you. Now leave me alone."

I pushed past him and dragged Jillian away from the onlookers while also fighting back tears. What I didn't know was that one of those onlookers was working for a vengeful, sadistic monster.


	2. Persuasion

1/26/20

Author's Note: Dialogue will be different from the show and a couple things will be added for the story's sake. Proceed with caution.

Jill was going to pick me up to go to her parents' house. After running into Elliot I wasn't 100% sure I was up for being around a group of people. Jill said she'd come by to see whether or not I was still going.

I just got back to my apartment and was fiddling with my keys when I felt a hand cover my mouth and heard a voice whisper menacingly, "Scream and I will shoot." My hand was now shaking as I unlocked the door and walked in still at gun point and I heard two more pairs of footsteps following. A different voice told my captor to tie me to a chair and gag me so I couldn't scream, even though I was too scared to do more than whimper anyway.

Once I was bound and gagged, the man said his name was Vera and that he was an "old friend" of Elliot's, which I knew was bull shit since Elliot had told me about why exactly he was arrested. He started eating the food I had bought for that night while telling me about what he called, "a true X-mas miracle" All I could do was sit and listen as he talked about a bullied little boy who had gotten an aluminum baseball bat as a present and used it to beat the holy hell out of his bully. Apparently I was going to be Vera's "aluminum bat" against Elliot so that after he was destroyed Vera could build him back up. I was looking around at each of the other men stationed close by watching me looking slightly bored.

When he finally took the gag off, he asked me what Elliot's biggest weakness was. I told him the general stuff that I'd been helping him with, but that wasn't enough. I begged for him to let me go and said that I wasn't even his therapist anymore and that I wanted nothing to do with him after he hurt me. Vera just shook his head before suddenly jumping up and yelling, "You love him! I saw the way you looked at him out there! You're still protecting him!"

I took a breath through my nose and let it out before saying in a distant voice, "That's not gonna work with me, dude. Yelling at me isn't going to get rid of that scared little boy swinging his bat at any threat that comes his way."

His face morphed from anger to humor. Sitting back down he closed his eyes and said with a slight laugh, "Wait a minute. Wait just a damn minute. Did you-did you just call me a little bitch? Did you, Miss Delilah? Are you calling me a little bitch?" I just stared at him distantly as he asked the others if they heard me correctly, which they said they did. Changing his facial features again, he chapped and said, "You're good, woman you're real good. Not even my little bitch can call me that." He got up again, walked up to me, and ran his fingers through my hair and started sniffing it. I was shuddering as he looked at me and said, "Since you don't want to give me what I want willingly Miss Delilah, I guess I'm gonna have to persuade you."

He yanked me out of the chair while also putting the gag back over my mouth and threw me onto the carpeted floor and unbuckled his belt making me start sobbing through the gag. He got down, yanked my dress up and my underwear down before I blacked out.

Flashback:

_ I had just gotten to Elliot's apartment and knocked on the door. He was clearly waiting for me 'cause he opened the door immediately. After I walked in he shut and locked the door making me raise my brow in confusion. Elliot was shaking as he looked at me with a weird expression. "Elliot, what's going on? Are you on the Morphine again?"_

_ Elliot just kept staring at me before suddenly putting a hand on my cheek and kissing me on the lips. I pulled away quickly. "Elliot, what the hell? You're my patient! This isn't what house calls are for. I can't treat you if you're going to act like this."_

_ He seemed to be internalizing what I said, but then started kissing me harder, not like he wanted to hurt me, more like he wanted to tell me something. Against my better judgment I kissed him back and we ended up on the bed with our clothes piled on either side on the floor._

_ The next morning I left while he was still sleeping and left him a note saying that we would talk later about what had happened. When I got to work I found my councilor Shannon and told her everything. She asked me if I was aware that I would have to drop his case and I said yes and that that's what I had told him and while he seemed to think it over he kept going and I didn't resist. _

_ That evening I went back to Elliot's apartment and told him that I had assigned him a new therapist. I then asked him if what had happened the night before meant anything to him. It took him a bit before saying that while it wasn't his intention he didn't regret it either. I then asked if this was the last time he wanted to see me outside the office to which he said no and that he needed me even if I wasn't going to be his councilor anymore he still wanted me to around. Told me that I made him feel real and sane and that I was one of the few people who seemed to give a shit about him whether I was paid to or not. For some reason that got to me and I slowly walked up to him and hugged him, being aware of his dislike of physical contact. Surprisingly, he didn't budge or push back, just stood there until I pulled away and ran my hand down the side of his face._

_ We started dating about a week later and while we didn't see each other much during the day since we both had to work, we always made time for each other at night._

End of flashback.

I woke up tied up in the chair again with Vera sitting across from me as if nothing had happened since I called him out on his insecurity. He was smiling when he saw my eyes opening and after I got my wits about me, he removed the gag and whispered as he got close to my face, "Now that I've made my point you're going to give me what I want or we're just going to have to do it all over again. Do you want that, Miss Delilah?"

I shook my head no, took a breath, and told him to go to my office to find the folder that held Elliot's file and look for the year 2015. He stood up and gestured for Peanuts and Javi to go. Looking down at me he asked what he'll find. I closed my eyes and said, "Mr. Robot. His greatest weakness."

A bit later he got my phone from my purse and told me to call Elliot. He picked up right away and I said that I needed to see him as soon as possible. That I had been kidnapped and raped by Vera and was forced to tell him everything and how sorry I was. I said that he let me go and I had gone to the cops and was now downtown. He told me to meet him at the park and that he loved me which I didn't expect before Vera signaled for me to cut the call.


	3. Meeting Mr RobotBreaking Point

2/1/20

Flashback:

_ Elliot and I had been together officially for a couple weeks when I first met Mr. Robot. I went to Elliot's place like usual, but when he answered the door he seemed different. Standing up straighter, his eyes kind of dilated, and when he spoke his voice was deeper and a bit raspy._

_ I had seen this before in a couple other patients, so I treaded lightly and waited for him to make the first move. He looked me up and down and smirked. "So, you must be Delilah the therapist turned girlfriend. You also go by DeDe, correct?"_

_ I raised my eyebrows wondering how knew that since I never even told that to Elliot. "How do you know that and what's your name anyway?"_

_ With a slight laugh, "Elliot" leaned against the wall and said, "Elliot calls me Mr. Robot which I still find hilarious and kind of stupid, but I deal with it. As for how I know your cute little nickname Elliot hacked you shortly after you became his therapist. Now before you lose your shit he hacks everyone and only uses the information if the person ends up being a shithead, but he seems to see you as one of the few good ones."_

_ When Robot mentioned Elliot hacking me I tensed up since I wasn't sure how deep he had gone, but if he was still willing to be my patient turned boyfriend he either didn't look that far into my history or he didn't care about how shitty my childhood had been._

_ I suddenly found myself in "doctor-mode" as I watched him watching me waiting to see who would make the next move. I cocked my head and said, "Does Elliot know what you really are and is he listening right now?"_

_ It was now Robot's turn to raise his eyebrows before he walked to Elliot's computer that happened to have piece of paper and a pen sitting there and started writing. When he gave it to me he signaled for me to keep quiet. The note said that Elliot wasn't aware of what he really was, that he wants Elliot to figure it out for himself, and that was indeed listening to this whole interaction. I looked up from the note and nodded my head indicating that I understood and I wouldn't say anything._

_ Fast forward a few months later on Christmas Eve I got a text from Elliot's phone, but it was Mr. Robot on the other side. I knew 'cause he used my nickname which Elliot never did. He said that he needed to tell me something that Elliot likely didn't want me to know. I was nervous, but told him to go on._

_ He said that while trying to get information from a woman that would help them with part of the plan to stop White Rose they ended up as he put it "getting together" which I figured meant that they had had sex. I nearly felt my heart shatter._

_ I knew he had impulse control issues, but I didn't think it would come to this. I asked him if it was necessary and he said no which drove me over the edge. I told him to tell Elliot that I was done with him and thanked Robot for telling me._

_ I called Jill crying and told her what happened. She was pissed, but she never really trusted Elliot in the first place. She came over and held me as I cried for the next half hour._


	4. Cleaning Out The Closet

2/2/20

Author's note: Please only read this chapter if you have seen and have had time to process episode 7. Also, make sure you're in a good state of mind since this does involve discussing trauma.

When I woke up I could hear talking from the other room. It was Vera and I figured he was talking to Elliot. I would've screamed if it wasn't for the gag so I just kept breathing and whimpering. After a while they all came into the room. I whimpered Elliot's name through the gag as he got down in front of me. "Delilah, are you okay?" he asked before being pulled away by Vera's goons.

Vera said that before anything else could happen he needed an introduction to Mr. Robot. Elliot tried to play dumb, but Vera pointed out that thanks to me he knew everything. Elliot begged for him to let me go as Vera held his knife to my neck and started running his free hand up and down my inner thigh as I just whimpered and muttered, "Not again" through the gag. Just as his hand reached my privates I heard Elliot's voice change. Mr. Robot had taken over and told Vera he'd talk to him.

I shut down for most of the interaction though when I got mentioned I just whimpered and continued shaking. When Vera brought up the notes I had gotten from Krista on why we didn't fully trust Robot Elliot took over again. We stared at each other until Vera got in his face still trying to get into his head. Wanting to prove himself Elliot said that he had proof of the project and it's success on his laptop before they all left the room.

Before I knew it, I was being dragged back into the dining room with a gun to my head. All I could do was sob as Elliot argued with him. When Vera asked why he shouldn't shoot me Elliot threw out vague answers before finally yelling, "Because I love her!"

A beat.

"Because despite all the fucked up shit I've done she's always stuck by me until I let my impulses get the better of me and fucked it all up. I can't lose her for good."

Vera kept the gun to my head, but his grip eased a bit. He started saying that he'd been going about everything the wrong way and that I should be the one asking questions.

Back in the other room he untied me and removed the gag and said we were gonna have a therapy session. I raised an eyebrow and said, "Dude, I stopped being his therapist over a year ago. I wasn't even supposed to have those notes you saw. Hell, this isn't even how any of this works, you sick son of a bitch. If you're gonna kill us anyway than what's the point?"

"Delilah, it's okay. Let's just give him what he wants." Elliot said.

I shook my head. "Baby, he's just trying to find another way to hurt you."

When Elliot said that this was just for show Vera agreed. I glared at Vera and said, "Like I said, this isn't how this works. Sessions need to be one-on-one between therapist and patient."

Vera sent the others out and said that this was the best we'd get. I growled and said that that wasn't what I meant before he fired a shot making me scream. Elliot told him to calm down and for me to look at him. "Pretend he's not here, it's just you and me like before. Look at me, Delilah. Let's talk about my mom. I didn't get to tell you that she died recently."

I took a breath and asked if he was okay. He said that because they didn't talk a lot it didn't affect him that badly. Darlene ended up being the most effected. Composing myself the best I could I asked how he felt about her death since he'd had time to think. Apparently he hadn't thought about it much 'cause of their rocky relationship.

Vera jumped in and said that he knew all of this already and brought up Elliot's "secret" and why Mr. Robot exists. Both me and Robot tried to stop him from reading the notes any further, but Elliot insisted he keep going. When he brought up what Krista called the "window event" I started panicking.

When Elliot asked if this was about his dad I begged him not to make me say anything. He kept insisting so I asked him why the memory wasn't clear to him. He wasn't sure and neither was I. I figured asking for specifics would help him. We went back and forth and it turned out these were just relayed details from Darlene.

When I mentioned the possibility that Robot was the reason for his lapses in time, he (Robot) started yelling that this was all a bad idea. That he wasn't supposed to know the real reason he was created.

I clenched my fists and said with glare and a slight laugh, "Just like how _I_ wasn't supposed to know about his little escapade last night?" That shut him up real quick.

Looking back at Elliot I asked if he believed Robot was really there to protect him. He did. I then asked if he was protecting Elliot from an immediate threat. When Elliot didn't understand I asked why he had a strong reaction to his dad coming into the room. At first he couldn't come up with an answer, but then he said that he had been scared. Vera concluded that he was scared of his dad.

Robot walked out saying that he couldn't protect him anymore as Elliot remained in denial about fearing his dad. I suggested that he had hid Darlene in the closet to protect her and grabbed the bat to defend himself. Elliot was breathing shakily as his face contorted with despair.

I asked him if he was scared that his dad was gonna ask him to do something that he didn't want to do. After a few tense seconds Elliot said yes and I could hear in his voice that he was crying. I then asked if he remembered what his dad had asked him to do. He did. On the verge of tears myself, I asked him if his dad abused him sexually. After saying yes one more time he broke down completely.

I wanted to go over and hold him, but he was positioned in a way that said "don't touch me" so I stayed seated. Vera tried to get closer to him, but as I suspected Elliot didn't want any contact with anyone. They went to the living room as he continued to try to get through to Elliot.

I listened as Elliot let out his anger and when things quieted down I finally got myself together and stood up to look for Vera's knife. I found it on the floor, snuck up behind him as he was trying to manipulate Elliot and plunged it into his back. I was shaking as he turned around gasping, gurgling, and hiccupping from the blood loss before finally falling facedown on the floor.


	5. Moving Forward

2/3/20

"Holy mother of God I killed him." I muttered as I looked at Vera's lifeless body on the floor. I told Elliot we needed to call the cops when Vera's phone started ringing. Probably his goons checking in. I looked out the window and saw them seeming to come back in. "Shit, the others are coming back. Elliot, did you hear me? We need to get out of here!"

Elliot was staring blankly into the fireplace. I got in front of him and told him to look at me. He seemed to be looking through me. I grabbed his backpack then his hand, pulled him up and dragged him to the fire escape. We got down and I hailed a passing taxi.

I told him that it was okay and to keep going. We got in and I told the driver to take us to the nearest police station. As we drove I slowly took his hand trying to keep him grounded.

When we got there, I paid the driver and pulled Elliot out of the car and up to the building entrance. He stopped dead in his tracks with his arms crossed. I walked up to him and said he had to come in with me.

"I can't do this." he finally said looking away. I told him it was okay as I looked at the entrance again.

"What do people do when they find out something like this? What can they do?" he asked.

"They just try to keep going. Like I did." I said.

Elliot looked at me shocked. I raised my eyebrow and said, "You didn't know? I thought since you had hacked me that you knew about my uncle." Elliot shook his head.

"Yeah, he lived with me and my parents for a while when he couldn't find work. He'd come into my room and night and-do things. Told me not to say anything and go to his room when he was finished."

Exhaling sharply, Elliot shook his head and said, "We should've fought them. Maybe they would've stopped."

"We were both just children. I never saw my uncle after he got a job and moved out of state. It was never up to us."

He looked down and said that he wanted to go back to forgetting. I shook my head. "You never really forgot. It was always there in the back of your mind. Like an itch you can't scratch. You just didn't know what it was, but now you do."

Elliot started to cry again and said that his dad made him feel special. "You are special, love. What he did to you isn't going to change that. Not in my eyes."

I told him I'd call him tomorrow after hearing someone go into the station. Shaking his head, he said that he shouldn't have gotten me involved in any of this. That he wasn't good for me. He also reminded me that I said that I wanted nothing to do with him. I took a breath and said, "That was before you saved my life and revealed your true feelings for me. Besides, you can't go through this alone."

"I know." he said before pulling me into a hug which I returned. We stayed that way for a while. He nuzzled my neck and whispered how much he loved me. How I was one of the best things that had ever happened to him.

When we finally pulled away, I placed my hand on his cheek and kissed him. When I pulled away I dropped my hand and said, "Please take care of yourself. Once things settle down we can figure out where we stand. In the meantime just remember that despite everything I still love you." I smiled and walked into the station.


	6. Aftermath

2/6/20

The next couple days were a blur. After the police station I went to the hospital to get checked out. I didn't want to go home so I stayed at Jill's place. She really beat herself up for not going home with me despite me telling her that it wouldn't have changed anything, and may even have made things worse and that I didn't blame her one bit.

I got a text from Darlene a few days later which was kind of random since Elliot was usually the one to contact me for safety reasons. She said that Elliot was in the hospital after stopping White Rose's machine. I asked about his condition and she asked if I was aware of him having multiple personalities, to which I said yes. She then asked if I had ever met the actual Elliot to which I said that I didn't think I had though I wasn't sure what to call the personality I had known as Elliot. I would later find out that the personality I had been interacting with the most was the Mastermind alongside Mr. Robot.

I went to visit him not being sure what to expect when he saw me. When I came into his room he was sleeping and Darlene was on the chair next to his bed. She stood up walked over to me as I stood by the closed door. I didn't know what to do since I knew this was going to be a different Elliot than the one (or two) I was used to.

As I was talking to Darlene, I noticed Elliot stirring. I slowly walked up to his bed as Darlene watched from the corner. "Hey Elliot, I'm Delilah. Some people call me DeDe. I was your therapist before we started dating about a year ago."

I stopped there not wanting to overwhelm him since I wasn't sure how much he was actually aware of and what he wasn't. Much to my surprise, he extended his hand and while I was hesitant at first I took it gently. I heard Darlene leave the room as I watched Elliot examine my face. He suddenly smiled and tightened his grip ever so slightly.

I cautiously asked him how much he remembers. It took him a bit before saying, "I remember most of what happened. It was like watching a really messed up TV show. I remember you and how you and Darlene kept me grounded when I needed it."

I smiled and nodded. We stayed that way until a nurse came in to check his vitals. When she left I asked if he thought we should start over. He agreed since he wanted to know me first hand and I wanted to know the real him first hand. We planned to get lunch once he was released from the hospital which was supposed to be the next morning before I left. I told Darlene the plan when I left the room and she smiled and hugged me. She thanked me for helping Elliot when I could and I told her that I loved the Elliot I knew and I was sure that that wasn't going to change.


End file.
